The friend that opens the umbrella behind you so you can be a dilophosaurus is the best friend you’ll ever have.
(Source: finalellipsis, via chaystar)
Why couldn’t Thor’s hammer break Captain America’s shield?
BECAUSE IT WAS MADE OUT OF FREEDOM AND THE DREAMS OF THE AMERICAN PEOPLE
uh excuse me wasn’t it adamantium
no it’s vibranium
you mean FREEDOMIUM
Aren’t wolverine’s bones made of adamantium?
No, Wolverine’s bones are made of crystalized maple syrup and universal health care.
(via chaystar)
